Apr 18, 20202 min read

FROM ATHEIST TO BELIEVER

I remember the day when a friend of mine asked me in a random context “So you don’t believe in God, right? I had the capability of finding the dizziness in her tone. Her curiosity made me a bit affronted but I was equally aware that she had no intention of being rude or something. How could one not believe in God? How could one assume something so wrong about me? I brushed aside her question with, “I kind of do but it doesn't matter” However, I kept wondering how is it to be like someone who calls themselves an 'Atheist'. How could one not believe in God? As life progressed, I became more aware of the world around me. I read a lot, kept an open mind, and chose reason over belief. In the end, I am here still have faith and belief even when I saw how absurd is the idea of religion or God around me. Yes, I understand. It's okay to have a different set of notions from mine and I respect that. This is moderately offensive to someone like my younger self who might have taken interest in an atheist’s perspective; who loved to be witty by hiding herself under the shady light of scientific arguments. But I don’t do so anymore after realizing something deep... A statement or some slight joke cracked at the expense of someone’s belief is equivalent to a small brain that is incapable of processing something so grand. And I know my reality... I can be the biggest hypocrite ever. I fall. I backslide. I stray into the wrong path. I stumble. I struggle. I am a mess. But I’m God’s mess. And he can turn this mess into whatever needs to be done. And the day will come when I will be by his side. His work in me will be completed, and until that day, I will take his hand and let him do whatever needs to be done. When he is finished. It will be of all worth...